Opening Remarks

Kelly DeAngelis

I am so happy to see all of you – particularly the two of you!  For those of you I haven’t met yet, I am Kelly and I am a friend of Lisa and Barry’s and I am so excited and honored to be standing here today and to and have the opportunity to share some words about these two incredible people and their story. 

To give a little context as to how I know Lisa and Barry and why I am standing up here today, I met Lisa a little more than 5 years ago when we serendipitously sat down next to each other at a mutual friend’s birthday dinner.  We became instant friends and have been a part of each other’s daily lives ever since.  I met Barry on Lisa and Barry’s first date when they were on a walk and the three of us again serendipitously ended up on the same corner of Broadway in the Flatiron District.  There’s a lot of serendipity in their story.  So I have had the pleasure of knowing Lisa and Barry as a couple from, quite literally, the very beginning, and over the course of their relationship, I have had the pleasure of spending much time with them as a couple – they recently been a part of my pandemic pod - so I was thrilled when they asked me to speak today.  And then I got a little nervous, because there is so much I wanted to say about these two people and their story that it felt almost impossible to distill it down to brief remarks that would find the right words.  But, after many, many drafts, I kept returning to the same things that have felt consistently true since I ran into them on that street corner the day of their first date – and those things are that Lisa and Barry are two of the kindest, warmest people I know – they are both just so special - and together they share a connection that I am constantly in awe of.  A connection, that from the perspective of someone looking on from the outside, oftentimes feels like magic or grace.  And that is what their story feels like to me – one of magic, grace and connection.

I could give you many, many examples of this magic, of the grace that I have witnessed in the two of them over the course of their relationship.  But in the interest of time, I am going to focus in on a few things that I think highlight a connection that is not just punctuated by but really seemingly flooded with moments of magic.

The first being, the way they started…It felt like it happened in a flash!  I recently spoke to both Lisa and Barry about the things they recall being most striking about the beginning of their relationship.  Barry told me about their playful way together and the “lightness of being” they shared.  Lisa talked about Barry’s confidence, optimism, consistency and availability.  She said he seemed so sure about their relationship from the very beginning.  She said she had “just never met anybody like that.”  I remember hearing about their early dates, and how Barry had happily participated in an impromptu writing prompt over dinner, and being astounded by the openness with which they seemed to meet each other.  From an outside perspective, it really felt like these people were meant to be – and it happened so fast.  And while Barry remained steady and sure, Lisa seemed almost surprised, as to how quickly it was all happening.  I remember Lisa calling me early on in their relationship almost shocked by how often Barry called and how often he wanted to see her.

However, this shock began to fade away one magical moment early on in their relationship and that was the moment when Barry met Stella, Lisa’s beloved dog.  If you had the absolute pleasure of knowing Stella, you know that Stella was joy incarnate, an absolute delight and Stella also had a way of choosing her people - and I consider myself lucky to be among those who Stella chose.  And Stella made her feelings about Barry clear instantly – in a flash.  Upon first sight of Barry from down the block, Stella went bounding towards him and jumped right up into his arms.  And that was the moment Stella chose Barry.  Stella’s instant adoration and love for Barry – which was instantly reciprocated - brought them together and she became an integral part of their relationship, often times inserting herself as mediator in conversational debates, as if she knew, what is so very clear today, that these two were simply meant to be together.

And while we are talking about Stella, I would like to take a moment to welcome Stella here today.  Stella sadly passed away in July but despite her physical absence, today I have no doubt that she is here absolutely delighted at what is happening today as her two chosen people choose each other and chasing leaves and hopping on and off the edges fountain in celebration.

After Stella’s selection, Lisa and Barry began to, as Lisa so eloquently put it recently, slide into each other’s lives and suddenly there they were.  Together.  And they fit.  So beautifully.

And that Brings us to our next category – the way they fit.  They have a steadiness, an ease and a lightness in their connection that feels at times otherworldly. Lisa described her moment of recognizing this fit in the moment when Barry came to greet her at the airport at 4:30 in the morning upon her return from a trip to India. Upon seeing him, after a long absence, she thought “oh you, that’s right.”  And this is how it is with them.  There’s a sense of just knowing that is almost ineffable that these two people are just the right fit for each other.  And while that, in and of itself, feels magical, I think the real magic is in the way they fit also comes from what sits at the root of their connection – and from what I see that is kindness, acceptance, support, trust and a commitment to mutual growth.

These two support each other and encourage each other to transform.  Barry talked to me about Lisa’s encouragement in his pursuit of a new position at SVA saying that Lisa could see him for who he was and had a belief in him that he did not yet have.  And she was effusive about it.  That is the other thing that they do, they find joy in the other’s growth and they celebrate each other’s accomplishments.  Lisa told me about the way Barry instantly welled up with pride and delight when she told him about a recent professional success.  That’s the thing about their connection – underneath it all there is a spark, a delight in each other – that just feels like magic.

And this brings me to my final point about the magic in their connection – and that is its ripple effects and the way it extends beyond them.  If you have ever spent any time with Lisa and Barry together, I think you will know what I mean.  They make you feel at ease and they envelop you in the joy of simply being together.  They are two people who are committed to a spiritually centered life and one of the ways they manifest this is through the way they cherish, nurture and care for their families and friends to whom they are deeply devoted.  

I have had the pleasure of experiencing this firsthand on many occasions but one instant stands out for me in particular.  It was early on in their relationship and I was going through a difficult time.  Lisa and Barry knew this and they invited me to join them on Shelter Island so that I could have some time away in the company of friends.  It was the first time I had spent an extended amount of time with Barry and it was the first time I had seen the two of them together for longer than the length of a meal.  I was struck by two things during that trip.  The first was the way they united together towards my collective care.  Not just Lisa, who I knew well at the time, but also Barry, who I was still getting to know, went to great lengths to make sure I felt welcome, comfortable and cared for.  And, the second thing I noticed was that their ease and way of being around each other is expansive and that it touches everyone in their presence.  Being around them that weekend, just as they were, shopping at the fish market and cooking elaborate meals seamlessly side-by-side, was grounding, settling and their way of being together made room to let light in around all of us.  

I imagine I am not the only one who has had this sort of experience with Lisa and Barry.  In fact, I think this very day, this very moment, is a testament to exactly that.  Throughout all of the planning for this day, Lisa and Barry continuously told me that while they were so excited to celebrate their connection to one another here today, it was equally as important to them to bring together all the people they love – to offer all of us an opportunity to connect and experience joy in a time that has been filled with separation and isolation.  And throughout all of the planning – which was no easy feat – they displayed a constant and vigilant consideration for the comfort, safety and well-being of us all.  They are constantly thinking beyond themselves.  It is who they are as individuals and it is who they are together as a couple.  And because of that, we are all here today.  And look how beautiful of a day you have created – thank you, Lisa and Barry.

A little while back, Lisa and Barry brought Jillian and I here to see this space, the space where the wedding would be.  While we were here we admired the sculpture of the Three Dancing Maidens that stands in the center of the fountain behind all of you.  Lisa was taken by the joy that the movement of the dancers conveyed.  She had us stand close and look at their faces exclaiming, “Don’t they all look so happy!?”  They really do.  I remember thinking in that moment, that this was indeed the perfect place for Lisa and Barry to get married, a place with joy sitting at it’s center.

Shortly after our visit to the garden, I found a book about outdoor monuments in Manhattan that features the Three Dancing Maiden’s sculpture.  In it, the author the author, Dianne Durante, writes this about the Dancing Maidens sculpture:  “it radiates delight, in a way few sculptures match, and there isn’t any point of view that doesn’t reveal some new, graceful aspect.”  It felt perfect because I think we could substitute Lisa and Barry right in there for the sculpture: “Lisa and Barry and the connection they share radiate delight in a way few others match, and there isn’t any point of view of their relationship that doesn’t revel some new, graceful aspect.”  And their delight and grace radiates out onto the people around them.  It is immense.  It is expansive.  And it really does feel like magic.  

So Lisa and Barry, as we stand here today, I wish you a lifetime together with joy at its center and a connection that continues to be filled with the magic and grace that has undoubtedly brought you two together and all of us here today.